Posts in January 2007

Over 50 percent of all American marriages end up in divorce. All though divorce is common place in today’s society, it can have devastating effects on those going through it. A marital breakup can cause depression, anxiety, confusion and isolation. It can adversely affect mood, parenting and job performance.

It is common for those divorcing to feel like they have failed. Marriage is seen as a key element in the American dream. Therefore when this union is terminated, feelings that you have let others as well as your self down can become overwhelming.

Take a look at present-day suburbia—what do you see? Neighborhoods filled with children, most of them playing indoors, usually by themselves. When they do engage in activities outside the home—soccer, baseball, martial arts, music lessons—today’s suburban children get shuttled from the house to the playing field or studio by their moms or dads in the family car. They return home the same way, once they have finished their structured activities, and after eating dinner with their parents, they do their homework, often in front of a computer, and then go to bed. They mingle very little on a daily basis with their neighbors’ children, and their tight after-school schedules set aside no time for spontaneous play.

My mother died Dec. 18, 2005. She was eighty-four years old and died of complications from open heart surgery. I am a psychotherapist in private practice and had to return to work shortly after her death. I wondered how I would deal with my deep and heart-stabbing grief while I tried to help my clients work through their issues. Yet, little in graduate or post-graduate training prepares us to deal with such a time in therapy, let alone our lives...

Read the full article by clicking on the link below.

At some point in time, we will all have the experience of a loved one dying. The death may be abrupt like a car accident or sudden illness. It may take place over a longer period of time when your loved one has a long-term illness such as cancer. There is nothing to prepare ourselves for such a loss. There is nothing you can read, no words that can be said that will reduce your pain immediately after the death.

There are a lot of us that spend too much time worrying. According to The National Institute on Mental Health, approximately 40 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 18.1 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety prevents us from being happy, can cause physical ailments, and keeps us from taking healthy risks that may improve the quality of our lives.

Everyone experiences loneliness at some point in their lives. It comes after a breakup, moving to a new location where you don’t know anyone, when you have a falling out with a friend or when you wish there was someone around to confide in.

The state of feeling all alone can cause you to feel hopeless, isolated and unlovable. You feel disconnected from others and spend much of your time being sedentary.

Being in touch with your body can help you face loneliness in a positive, productive manner. But first, you have to learn to overcome the barriers to exercising.

We will all encounter tragedy in our lives. Crises can be abrupt or take place over a lengthy period of time. We will all experience the death of a loved one. Many of us have faced the turmoil of divorce.; You may have suddenly been laid off from a job you treasure. There are those of us who have lost long term friendships due to a misunderstanding.

All of these tragedies dramatically change lives. Finding yourself alternating between a state of shock, hopelessness and abject fear are common experiences for all these crises.

It is also common to have no other desires but to lay on the couch and be swallowed up by the cushions. It is part of the normal grief process to feel numb, depressed and frightened during the initial stages of loss. Eventually you feel that it is time to move on to the next stage, what ever it is.