The Myth that we get over Loss and the Truth that we can Find Peace

The Myth that we get over Loss and the Truth that we can Find Peace

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Date : December 28, 2017

The message that is shouted out to us from a very young age is that “you need to get over it”. This directive means that you aren’t to dwell on any loss more than a couple of days. You are supposed to move on with your life (whatever that means) and not “dwell” on sad thoughts and feelings.

We hear these false narratives: When one of your loved one’s dies, a couple days off work or school is all you need to return to regular life. Crying is ok at funerals and a few days after...

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It’s Time to Stop Playing the Victim Card

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Date : November 23, 2017

You may find this blog to pertain to you or others in your life. You may find the beginning to be harsh and judgmental, but please stick with it because it does offer healthy solutions. I have compassion for all those who identify as victims and want to be a catalyst for positive change.

You are playing the victim card when:

You blame all your troubles on others.

You are immersed in ongoing conflicts that are never resolved.

You are captivated by drama.

You feel...

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Facing Internalized Self-Hatred

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Date : October 28, 2017

Facing Internalized Self-Hatred

Internalized self-hatred is the owning and acting out of a stereotype that has been created about you. You may or may not be aware of this phenomenon. Internalized self-hatred can be experienced by People of Color, The LBGQT Community, Jews, Muslims, Women, The Disabled other oppressed and vilified people.

Examples of self-hatred: A black man who believes the stereotype that African-Americans’ intelligence is inferior to whites. He doesn’t bother to...

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I’m the Elder Now

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Date : October 14, 2017

When I think about the men and women who were mentors or role models in my life, I feel sad and regretful. My father died when I was fifteen and I am sixty-six now. He and I were going through a difficult period that many teens and their dads go through. My relationship with him was also affected by the brain changes that occurred when he experienced TIAS (small strokes). His behavior and mood became erratic.

After my dad’s death, I encountered adults who were my teachers and bosses at work....

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After Thirty Years of Practice: Why I Still Love Being a Therapist

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Date : September 17, 2017

I started my private therapy practice almost thirty years ago. I was motivated to work for myself because I always had a problem with “authority”. I was not good at following orders I believed went against the best interests of my clients or were not logical. In my thirties, I combined arrogance, a sense of injustice, an intense desire to help others and anxiety into a new art form.

I saw my first client in October 1987. I was exhilarated and terrified; hoping to make it in this new world I...

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The Anxiety Interference: What we can do about it

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Date : September 4, 2017

Anxiety can be gripping, debilitating experience. It can be triggered by internal body sensations, external events or anticipation of a situation going off track. Those who suffer from anxiety sometimes feel worried throughout the day. The fear can be experienced as deep background noise or a straight out panic attack. Panic attack symptoms are breathing rapidly and intensely, sweating, heart racing, feeling dizzy or tingling in hands.

There are different schools of thought about what causes...

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Discovering Peace: Healing Your Internal Family

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Date : July 6, 2017

Do you ever have these thoughts? “I have been in therapy for years, have attended self-help seminars, have taken responsibility for my actions, have taken a close look at my inner demons, but I still feel stuck. I still have problems with personal relationships and trust issues. Why does this nightmare continue?”

This phenomenon may be occurring because we haven’t understood the effects of amygdala. What is your amygdala? The amygdala is an almond-shape set of neurons located deep in the...

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Sandtray Therapy for Ending Unhealthy Relationships

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Date : April 29, 2017

This blog is based on a compilation of several case studies.

Thirty-seven-year-old Mary was struggling with ending unhealthy relationships. She realized that she was somehow attracted to men who were emotionally unavailable. They had anger management issues and were verbally abusive.

She had been dealing with this relationship trauma for years. Regular talk therapy did help her somewhat, but she felt like she was stuck in an endless loop of bad choices and self-loathing. Mary had...

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Sandtray Therapy is the Coolest Therapy Ever

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Date : April 9, 2017

You may have experienced talk therapy and other modalities, but have never felt they really addressed your problems. Give Sandtray Therapy a try.

I have been a psychotherapist in private practice for almost thirty years. Fifteen years ago, I wrote a highly-acclaimed book titled Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager’s Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy. Grieving my father’s death took place here. He died when I was fifteen years old. I began to look at how his death affected me...

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Grief Continues to Evolve even at Social Security Age

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Date : February 18, 2017

My journey of dealing with my father’s death has taken place over five decades. At times, I travel down familiar roads only to end up spinning my grief around where it has no landing place. Other times I will go down those same roads and previously locked doors will fly open and supreme understanding flows into my heart.

The problem is not knowing when walking down a path repeatedly indicates that you are stuck in your loss or if there are new insights on the horizon. I believe that...

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